Said the Forbidden word !!!!

As my fingers come in forceful contact with the different square-shaped keys of this leased Thinkpad, I feel my heart pumping all it’s blood into my veins. My pluses are raised and I’ve never felt this ashamed in all my life.

Today was yet another workday and habitually as it was, few of the staffs gather around our grayish cream cubicle that accommodated four talents. Practicing the passive Custom, we started from taking about the clients, placements only to steadily swing into the heart of matter - assumptions, concepts, practices and THE PEOPLE of the organization. ‘Who is not right’, ‘who is bad’, ‘who is a poor performer’, ‘who is who's’ all the negatively presumed personalities walk the ramp of our forum. While on the chat about poor performers one of my India office colleague typically takes the center stage, as if he were a synonym of slow moving, low-achiever. In my belief, a rider is not worthy of any praise if he’s on a vigorous swift horse. Tribute awaits the one who has taken the challenge of making weakest and slowest breed win its toughest race on the course. I throw this comment to the audience only to re-confirm their impression “I’m backing up people who are too immature and unfit for any organization”.

“This is ok’nga….. aanna But these people leave their house, stray like dogs and then one day when they feel like returning appram come back home and andha company too accepts them” a sudden voice with it’s poorly structured sentence, emerged from straight opposite my seat. This was to mockingly remind my employment history to other staffs. Supplementary Arrows are hit over my sincerity from my own team member who we had averted for “personally professional” reasons. His words accomplished its purpose thereby provoking my temper. I use the most forbidden four-letter word which for OSHO is the most important word in the English language.

I uttered it not to warn him, nor did I utter it to hurt him (though in the literal sense he waiting for an opportunity physically assault me), I did not utter the word make him scared, but I uttered it caused I lost my Cool. I uttered the forbidden word amidst a group of folks, who are now watching for the bulls to charge in full splendor against each other. I silently turn myself back to face my system and pretend working. This was verbal exchange that I did not anticipate, at least before eyes that were detecting for more. With a heavy heart I leave for my motel, feeling ashamed for having produced a fruit, which is not acceptable in my God’s sight.

Actions speak and mine just did! A forbidden word! A forbidden thing!

Sigh relief after praying for forgiveness. I proclaim to all the cells within me “I will constantly work towards being better than to my former self” (inspired from Robin S Sharma) and “I will not use that forbidden word again”. All in a day’s work and this was just a bad one. I wait for the sun to unveil herself tomorrow, for I have planned to request his pardon, before this same crowd that is hosting a farewell lunch for me. I know I would be attacked with an unpleasant response, but at least for the sake of my God and conscience, I will need to let myself be embarrassed again!