“I’m caught in the traffic, will be there in 15 minutes” the sms delivers on her mobile, while she observes the poor from inside small sized car. The eye gazed around, but her brain traversed back to college days, where she first met this stranger in the Campus Cafeteria. The day when she was consciously aware of his fixed stare and how she pretended apathetic continuing to play engaged in the chat with her friends. When his eyes paused for break, she in silence would rope back, wanting to get a closer look of the square faced stranger. His height of about 5’7 made his fresh budding muscle packs and biceps magnetic; the skin looked dusky in the dark olive green round neck t-shirt and light blue jeans. “He looks so smart like a model” exclamied Adeline “who he? He’s been building a house in Mcfeilds for close to 6 years" (referring his arrears - the three year B,.Sc Course which he took close to about 6 years for him to complete) , mocked our jealous Senior. “And another thing, he is from Punjab!”, “Punjab?”, “yes, PUNJAB!”– My world paused. Smartness or attractiveness of a guy to me is first measured in how South Indianite he can be. He was the first guy who I was ever attracted to, He sparked the fire in me at his first sight, He introduced me to a body chemistry which was never felt before but all that was fading into the wind because he was from North.
“hey, see there, it’s Leo” (name withheld for personal reasons), Adeline shouted again after 2 weeks, from near the cycle parking lot opposite to ladies lounge. He was in the same olive green - blue attire, standing near the science tap point looking at Adeline - wondering how she knew his name. “He is from Punjab but he is a nadar” confessed our senior for reasons we do not know. A Confession that made me and Adeline celebrate. Celebration for Adeline was a nadar and to me I always liked to a part their community since childhood. Following was something that we both as friends did not initially team up for, Eye exchanges. He walked around with his bald friend, I walked around with Adeline wanting to get a look at this nadar stranger who made us feel jiggy. Looks grew to be eye exchanges. Eye exchanges grew to an acquaintance (after over 1 1/2 year – this year made me and Adeline close enough to be good friends). Thanks to Perl who bought him over to the proceeding Tamil session. Adeline sat next to me all excited; I sat in fear, completely aware of his stare and my rising hormone chemistry, that may end me up flirting. “I have one more hour to go, can I meet you after the classes” my words were uttered in a bitter sweet mood. “You have to make your choice, its class or me” the confident firm words responded in a flirty tone. I made my choice and we ended up in the College library.
Following day was a Saturday, a day were pupils were not supposed to be in college but I and Adeline rushed to meet our favorite nadar. He was waiting in the Zoology tank with a one Dairy Milk bar (little did he know that my friend would accompany my first date). Adeline sat next to him on the stone bench, I sat opposite playing with the match box of his Wills pack. “Don’t play with fire” came out the statement twice. A warning message about our flirting limits, set the players on the game field of courtship.
The campus welcomed our arrival, stones over-heard our long conversations, breeze witnessed our silence, trees observed our passion. Silence was becoming more of a language of love and warmth was breaking out the fence into our souls. There was a new reason to rejoice my femininity but I stayed mute, so to have relationship healthy and unlimited as special Friends. Course term was ended and I entered into the world of vocation, not forgetting the sweetest experience life has ever bestowed on me through this Leo. Every vacation (when his mood seasons, of course), we would meet up but now in outer world, not just inside campus, for we are working young adults now. As a call center employee, I have come across handsome smart men who I was attracted to and some who liked to tie a knot with me but none till this day have made to a level of warmth, romance and silence that i cherished with the Leo.
It was supposedly a game of Flirting but I truly appreciated his views, thoughts, aspirations, philosophy, mannerism, behavior and priorities. What really turned my romantic illusion into realistic love was his dad’s death. There lay his father Corpse before him and he in his toughest of times took heart to behave sane with solid morale, welcoming me and my now best friend Anita. Not wanting to break down he would blink several times, close his lips tight and take heart with a sigh - not one tear that fell but the heavy sorrowful heart trying it's best to be strong and see ahead, was evident. His mom captured our attention by just her motherly divine look (I love her to this day and wished I have one chance to sought her feet for blessings and kiss her over her forehead). My spirit died to be her daughter in law and my heart was craving to be my beloved’s wife. It was my First love. My first commitment. But little did I know I was going to invest all my emotions that would never be a relationship.
So, it was. Never a relationship. Intimate, personal, friendly, caring but never a relationship. No matter how hard I desired, it would never be a relationship. Soulful connection but never a relationship! Blissful memories but never a relationship. Not friends; Not lovers and definitely not in a relationship. It is best to let God do the talking when it comes to personal relationships and so it was.
Time has swift from 1999 to 2007 and this might be the last meeting or at least one of final meet-ups, I’ll have with him. He is 15 minutes late for the date and it would be another mall, theater or eat out, that will greet the couples in disguise. Strangers who will soon part and be good wishers for each other.
May 1st 2008: All that remains now is my good will, special liking, memories and prayers for him and his mother. Time has indeed moved slowly but we are in completely different roads, heading as God destined. In the next few months, I might married off to another stranger (who will ofcourse be well informed about this Leo) and it would be as nothing ever happened atall. "The Show must go on; so will it". This may be too personal to key down but in my view My Dream journal would not be complete if I did not mention this most significant episode in my life.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Yesterday - Today's past & tomorrow’s memory
Dirt, pollution and dust loads over the crowded metro that is positioned beside the Bay of Bengal. Under the scorching heat of over 95 F the commuters drive between the first three gears, bearing in mind the swarming pedestrians, jammed traffic, racing cycles and rebellious auto-rickshaws. Fortunate was the black swift to find its free parking lot by the roadside huts in one such populated streets. Scorched by the sun it waits uncomplainingly, for it will soon meet the Bullet rider, the Leo, the prince of its possessor. 
“I’m caught in the traffic, will be there in 15 minutes” the sms delivers on her mobile, while she observes the poor from inside small sized car. The eye gazed around, but her brain traversed back to college days, where she first met this stranger in the Campus Cafeteria. The day when she was consciously aware of his fixed stare and how she pretended apathetic continuing to play engaged in the chat with her friends. When his eyes paused for break, she in silence would rope back, wanting to get a closer look of the square faced stranger. His height of about 5’7 made his fresh budding muscle packs and biceps magnetic; the skin looked dusky in the dark olive green round neck t-shirt and light blue jeans. “He looks so smart like a model” exclamied Adeline “who he? He’s been building a house in Mcfeilds for close to 6 years" (referring his arrears - the three year B,.Sc Course which he took close to about 6 years for him to complete) , mocked our jealous Senior. “And another thing, he is from Punjab!”, “Punjab?”, “yes, PUNJAB!”– My world paused. Smartness or attractiveness of a guy to me is first measured in how South Indianite he can be. He was the first guy who I was ever attracted to, He sparked the fire in me at his first sight, He introduced me to a body chemistry which was never felt before but all that was fading into the wind because he was from North.
“hey, see there, it’s Leo” (name withheld for personal reasons), Adeline shouted again after 2 weeks, from near the cycle parking lot opposite to ladies lounge. He was in the same olive green - blue attire, standing near the science tap point looking at Adeline - wondering how she knew his name. “He is from Punjab but he is a nadar” confessed our senior for reasons we do not know. A Confession that made me and Adeline celebrate. Celebration for Adeline was a nadar and to me I always liked to a part their community since childhood. Following was something that we both as friends did not initially team up for, Eye exchanges. He walked around with his bald friend, I walked around with Adeline wanting to get a look at this nadar stranger who made us feel jiggy. Looks grew to be eye exchanges. Eye exchanges grew to an acquaintance (after over 1 1/2 year – this year made me and Adeline close enough to be good friends). Thanks to Perl who bought him over to the proceeding Tamil session. Adeline sat next to me all excited; I sat in fear, completely aware of his stare and my rising hormone chemistry, that may end me up flirting. “I have one more hour to go, can I meet you after the classes” my words were uttered in a bitter sweet mood. “You have to make your choice, its class or me” the confident firm words responded in a flirty tone. I made my choice and we ended up in the College library.
Following day was a Saturday, a day were pupils were not supposed to be in college but I and Adeline rushed to meet our favorite nadar. He was waiting in the Zoology tank with a one Dairy Milk bar (little did he know that my friend would accompany my first date). Adeline sat next to him on the stone bench, I sat opposite playing with the match box of his Wills pack. “Don’t play with fire” came out the statement twice. A warning message about our flirting limits, set the players on the game field of courtship.
The campus welcomed our arrival, stones over-heard our long conversations, breeze witnessed our silence, trees observed our passion. Silence was becoming more of a language of love and warmth was breaking out the fence into our souls. There was a new reason to rejoice my femininity but I stayed mute, so to have relationship healthy and unlimited as special Friends. Course term was ended and I entered into the world of vocation, not forgetting the sweetest experience life has ever bestowed on me through this Leo. Every vacation (when his mood seasons, of course), we would meet up but now in outer world, not just inside campus, for we are working young adults now. As a call center employee, I have come across handsome smart men who I was attracted to and some who liked to tie a knot with me but none till this day have made to a level of warmth, romance and silence that i cherished with the Leo.
It was supposedly a game of Flirting but I truly appreciated his views, thoughts, aspirations, philosophy, mannerism, behavior and priorities. What really turned my romantic illusion into realistic love was his dad’s death. There lay his father Corpse before him and he in his toughest of times took heart to behave sane with solid morale, welcoming me and my now best friend Anita. Not wanting to break down he would blink several times, close his lips tight and take heart with a sigh - not one tear that fell but the heavy sorrowful heart trying it's best to be strong and see ahead, was evident. His mom captured our attention by just her motherly divine look (I love her to this day and wished I have one chance to sought her feet for blessings and kiss her over her forehead). My spirit died to be her daughter in law and my heart was craving to be my beloved’s wife. It was my First love. My first commitment. But little did I know I was going to invest all my emotions that would never be a relationship.
So, it was. Never a relationship. Intimate, personal, friendly, caring but never a relationship. No matter how hard I desired, it would never be a relationship. Soulful connection but never a relationship! Blissful memories but never a relationship. Not friends; Not lovers and definitely not in a relationship. It is best to let God do the talking when it comes to personal relationships and so it was.
Time has swift from 1999 to 2007 and this might be the last meeting or at least one of final meet-ups, I’ll have with him. He is 15 minutes late for the date and it would be another mall, theater or eat out, that will greet the couples in disguise. Strangers who will soon part and be good wishers for each other.
May 1st 2008: All that remains now is my good will, special liking, memories and prayers for him and his mother. Time has indeed moved slowly but we are in completely different roads, heading as God destined. In the next few months, I might married off to another stranger (who will ofcourse be well informed about this Leo) and it would be as nothing ever happened atall. "The Show must go on; so will it". This may be too personal to key down but in my view My Dream journal would not be complete if I did not mention this most significant episode in my life.
“I’m caught in the traffic, will be there in 15 minutes” the sms delivers on her mobile, while she observes the poor from inside small sized car. The eye gazed around, but her brain traversed back to college days, where she first met this stranger in the Campus Cafeteria. The day when she was consciously aware of his fixed stare and how she pretended apathetic continuing to play engaged in the chat with her friends. When his eyes paused for break, she in silence would rope back, wanting to get a closer look of the square faced stranger. His height of about 5’7 made his fresh budding muscle packs and biceps magnetic; the skin looked dusky in the dark olive green round neck t-shirt and light blue jeans. “He looks so smart like a model” exclamied Adeline “who he? He’s been building a house in Mcfeilds for close to 6 years" (referring his arrears - the three year B,.Sc Course which he took close to about 6 years for him to complete) , mocked our jealous Senior. “And another thing, he is from Punjab!”, “Punjab?”, “yes, PUNJAB!”– My world paused. Smartness or attractiveness of a guy to me is first measured in how South Indianite he can be. He was the first guy who I was ever attracted to, He sparked the fire in me at his first sight, He introduced me to a body chemistry which was never felt before but all that was fading into the wind because he was from North.
“hey, see there, it’s Leo” (name withheld for personal reasons), Adeline shouted again after 2 weeks, from near the cycle parking lot opposite to ladies lounge. He was in the same olive green - blue attire, standing near the science tap point looking at Adeline - wondering how she knew his name. “He is from Punjab but he is a nadar” confessed our senior for reasons we do not know. A Confession that made me and Adeline celebrate. Celebration for Adeline was a nadar and to me I always liked to a part their community since childhood. Following was something that we both as friends did not initially team up for, Eye exchanges. He walked around with his bald friend, I walked around with Adeline wanting to get a look at this nadar stranger who made us feel jiggy. Looks grew to be eye exchanges. Eye exchanges grew to an acquaintance (after over 1 1/2 year – this year made me and Adeline close enough to be good friends). Thanks to Perl who bought him over to the proceeding Tamil session. Adeline sat next to me all excited; I sat in fear, completely aware of his stare and my rising hormone chemistry, that may end me up flirting. “I have one more hour to go, can I meet you after the classes” my words were uttered in a bitter sweet mood. “You have to make your choice, its class or me” the confident firm words responded in a flirty tone. I made my choice and we ended up in the College library.
Following day was a Saturday, a day were pupils were not supposed to be in college but I and Adeline rushed to meet our favorite nadar. He was waiting in the Zoology tank with a one Dairy Milk bar (little did he know that my friend would accompany my first date). Adeline sat next to him on the stone bench, I sat opposite playing with the match box of his Wills pack. “Don’t play with fire” came out the statement twice. A warning message about our flirting limits, set the players on the game field of courtship.
The campus welcomed our arrival, stones over-heard our long conversations, breeze witnessed our silence, trees observed our passion. Silence was becoming more of a language of love and warmth was breaking out the fence into our souls. There was a new reason to rejoice my femininity but I stayed mute, so to have relationship healthy and unlimited as special Friends. Course term was ended and I entered into the world of vocation, not forgetting the sweetest experience life has ever bestowed on me through this Leo. Every vacation (when his mood seasons, of course), we would meet up but now in outer world, not just inside campus, for we are working young adults now. As a call center employee, I have come across handsome smart men who I was attracted to and some who liked to tie a knot with me but none till this day have made to a level of warmth, romance and silence that i cherished with the Leo.
It was supposedly a game of Flirting but I truly appreciated his views, thoughts, aspirations, philosophy, mannerism, behavior and priorities. What really turned my romantic illusion into realistic love was his dad’s death. There lay his father Corpse before him and he in his toughest of times took heart to behave sane with solid morale, welcoming me and my now best friend Anita. Not wanting to break down he would blink several times, close his lips tight and take heart with a sigh - not one tear that fell but the heavy sorrowful heart trying it's best to be strong and see ahead, was evident. His mom captured our attention by just her motherly divine look (I love her to this day and wished I have one chance to sought her feet for blessings and kiss her over her forehead). My spirit died to be her daughter in law and my heart was craving to be my beloved’s wife. It was my First love. My first commitment. But little did I know I was going to invest all my emotions that would never be a relationship.
So, it was. Never a relationship. Intimate, personal, friendly, caring but never a relationship. No matter how hard I desired, it would never be a relationship. Soulful connection but never a relationship! Blissful memories but never a relationship. Not friends; Not lovers and definitely not in a relationship. It is best to let God do the talking when it comes to personal relationships and so it was.
Time has swift from 1999 to 2007 and this might be the last meeting or at least one of final meet-ups, I’ll have with him. He is 15 minutes late for the date and it would be another mall, theater or eat out, that will greet the couples in disguise. Strangers who will soon part and be good wishers for each other.
May 1st 2008: All that remains now is my good will, special liking, memories and prayers for him and his mother. Time has indeed moved slowly but we are in completely different roads, heading as God destined. In the next few months, I might married off to another stranger (who will ofcourse be well informed about this Leo) and it would be as nothing ever happened atall. "The Show must go on; so will it". This may be too personal to key down but in my view My Dream journal would not be complete if I did not mention this most significant episode in my life.
