Spiritual Bits

Failures n depressing lonely moments were my bread since the past 6 years. They could have come by to show me the way God judges His Beloveds. Had not sinned, I may have been spared, but it’s through my inconsistent mind, I gave in to every temptation that promised short-lived pleasures. Accounting my trespass, God judged by allowing time to stretch its hands & shorten my territory (friends, love & money to have fun, which was my only drive to dwell). I was alone, all alone without a soul to understand or shower any affection. Worst was when I bribed people to get attention. Flooded gifts to make some folks my best friends, spent most of what I earned on people, so that I may get some kindness n comfort in return. Of course I earned their lifetime friendship but deep inside emotionally I was not quenched. Their Bond was conditional subject to their availability. There were many times I questioned the very purpose of my existence with no soul to care. But in the recent month there has been supernatural positive re-assurance within my spirit.

Lately the happenings seem to be quite familiar to that when I was a fresh college nerd. Did I hear Yogi Peter Berra say “it like déjà Vu all over again” .
The sequence of friendly reunions; professional singing for an album; memory anchors; studying at leisure; crossroads of choosing between options; job search so on and so forth….History might repeat itself but over the span of 6 years, God has indeed taught me to respond positive to the challenges of life/time. Though at the present time am swarmed with friends there will be my responsibility to prioritize the worthy and practise being emotionally independent. Though there are many chores to be completed in a given 24 hours, but not a day will pass without quite times with Chirst and physical fitness regimes. For I have found a new reason to Live and the Reason is “am fearfully and wonderfully made”. I may be given another 50 years to join the Death, by then I will need to make the best from the Gift of Life bestowed by God himself. Failures or Success, end of it all only two things matter: Me and God.

Ezekiel 16 in one of my best favourite’s chapters that kept me from further sinning and reminded me of God’s presence in my downhill phase.

Happiness of God’s abundant blessings is just around the Corner of my life and the journal will stand as witness of his Mighty deeds.