Failures n depressing lonely moments were my bread since the past 6 years. They could have come by to show me the way God judges His Beloveds. Had not sinned, I may have been spared, but it’s through my inconsistent mind, I gave in to every temptation that promised short-lived pleasures. Accounting my trespass, God judged by allowing time to stretch its hands & shorten my territory (friends, love & money to have fun, which was my only drive to dwell). I was alone, all alone without a soul to understand or shower any affection. Worst was when I bribed people to get attention. Flooded gifts to make some folks my best friends, spent most of what I earned on people, so that I may get some kindness n comfort in return. Of course I earned their lifetime friendship but deep inside emotionally I was not quenched. Their Bond was conditional subject to their availability. There were many times I questioned the very purpose of my existence with no soul to care. But in the recent month there has been supernatural positive re-assurance within my spirit.
Lately the happenings seem to be quite familiar to that when I was a fresh college nerd. Did I hear Yogi Peter Berra say “it like déjà Vu all over again” .
The sequence of friendly reunions; professional singing for an album; memory anchors; studying at leisure; crossroads of choosing between options; job search so on and so forth….History might repeat itself but over the span of 6 years, God has indeed taught me to respond positive to the challenges of life/time. Though at the present time am swarmed with friends there will be my responsibility to prioritize the worthy and practise being emotionally independent. Though there are many chores to be completed in a given 24 hours, but not a day will pass without quite times with Chirst and physical fitness regimes. For I have found a new reason to Live and the Reason is “am fearfully and wonderfully made”. I may be given another 50 years to join the Death, by then I will need to make the best from the Gift of Life bestowed by God himself. Failures or Success, end of it all only two things matter: Me and God.
Ezekiel 16 in one of my best favourite’s chapters that kept me from further sinning and reminded me of God’s presence in my downhill phase.
Happiness of God’s abundant blessings is just around the Corner of my life and the journal will stand as witness of his Mighty deeds.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Personnel Growth Strategy - A Corporate game by itself
“Where do you want to be five years from now?” A question so trivial, yet asked in every other interview panel. For me the bullet was triggered from my favorite South-Indian (Tamil :)) CEO with whom I hold my current employment with.
There are many sugar coated answers to that introspective question. But are today’s office goers truly aiming big and scheduling their mundane tasks in line with the set self- goals. Commercial world today is in desperate need of hiring intellects (not the complete package called human being but only brains) for their various needs of operations, administration, finance, Human resource, marketing … … …(blanks that always keep sprouting up). The organizational structure is laid out in place alongside with the hint manuscript of growth prospects for existing employees to shift roles. The only price tag “based on your performance”. In the process of better performing in the job at hand, the existing employee seldom probe the purpose of incentive proposed or comprehend the master brain of the complete mirage structure.
“Increase the revenues, cut down the cost” has been the survival mantra of families, organizations and incorporations. Corporate giants today are devising strategically to earn optimum returns with their current investments specifically their internal customers called employees. Increasing the company patriotism or promoting responsibilities or appraising the compensation by few thousands bucks or sacking a vegetate low performer; the bottom line spells retention of the best. In bribing illusions called prospects the board gets to enjoy the whole flock perform to its fullest speedily. To live up to the pledge, one best of the flock (best in view of the bosses and big bosses) gets a credit of promotion. A dream attained after quiet a lot of time.
So much time the passes by never to return that one really focuses of scaling up him qualifications to get ahead in his career. There has been debates between experience or education and yet another debate or support (operations) or revenue generation (sales).
A individual value chart is scaled how good he is educationally qualified and how much money can he bring into the company’s account.
There may be several success stories of school drop out turning corporate giants. But in today’s world can one imagine a 12th grade kid being your project manager? Some where street smart to take risks and make it to the levels of entrepreneurs, but to excel diplomatically there is a need to for formal higher education.
Taking about operations and sales, most of the CEO’s, CTO’s, CFO’s or even the MD have deep roots called sales (of course finance equally as well) on their profile called experience. Support’s growth scales-up like a tortoise (May it be that IT sect of tortoises get a luxurious hosting) but the real ministers are those revenue makers for the king called Managing Director.
Management studies have evolved so much of a theory in this era. But rarely one realizes these Values, morale, policies, structure, processes are all mirage, framed to attract more clients, generate greater profits and retain current resources (for it’s relatively costlier to buy a fresh brain). So next time someone asks you “where do you see five years from now?” it time you think seriously about your own strategy for success. The choice lies to pretend loyal, get mundane promotions and earn few thousands more or to get equipped to be an intrepreneur or entrepreneur. Again, Personnel Growth Strategy is a Corporate game to earn better profits.
As for me, five years from now I will be 30 and by then I will need to seriously work on scaling up to a level called Motherhood :) (obviously a lighter note)
There are many sugar coated answers to that introspective question. But are today’s office goers truly aiming big and scheduling their mundane tasks in line with the set self- goals. Commercial world today is in desperate need of hiring intellects (not the complete package called human being but only brains) for their various needs of operations, administration, finance, Human resource, marketing … … …(blanks that always keep sprouting up). The organizational structure is laid out in place alongside with the hint manuscript of growth prospects for existing employees to shift roles. The only price tag “based on your performance”. In the process of better performing in the job at hand, the existing employee seldom probe the purpose of incentive proposed or comprehend the master brain of the complete mirage structure.
“Increase the revenues, cut down the cost” has been the survival mantra of families, organizations and incorporations. Corporate giants today are devising strategically to earn optimum returns with their current investments specifically their internal customers called employees. Increasing the company patriotism or promoting responsibilities or appraising the compensation by few thousands bucks or sacking a vegetate low performer; the bottom line spells retention of the best. In bribing illusions called prospects the board gets to enjoy the whole flock perform to its fullest speedily. To live up to the pledge, one best of the flock (best in view of the bosses and big bosses) gets a credit of promotion. A dream attained after quiet a lot of time.
So much time the passes by never to return that one really focuses of scaling up him qualifications to get ahead in his career. There has been debates between experience or education and yet another debate or support (operations) or revenue generation (sales).
A individual value chart is scaled how good he is educationally qualified and how much money can he bring into the company’s account.
There may be several success stories of school drop out turning corporate giants. But in today’s world can one imagine a 12th grade kid being your project manager? Some where street smart to take risks and make it to the levels of entrepreneurs, but to excel diplomatically there is a need to for formal higher education.
Taking about operations and sales, most of the CEO’s, CTO’s, CFO’s or even the MD have deep roots called sales (of course finance equally as well) on their profile called experience. Support’s growth scales-up like a tortoise (May it be that IT sect of tortoises get a luxurious hosting) but the real ministers are those revenue makers for the king called Managing Director.
Management studies have evolved so much of a theory in this era. But rarely one realizes these Values, morale, policies, structure, processes are all mirage, framed to attract more clients, generate greater profits and retain current resources (for it’s relatively costlier to buy a fresh brain). So next time someone asks you “where do you see five years from now?” it time you think seriously about your own strategy for success. The choice lies to pretend loyal, get mundane promotions and earn few thousands more or to get equipped to be an intrepreneur or entrepreneur. Again, Personnel Growth Strategy is a Corporate game to earn better profits.
As for me, five years from now I will be 30 and by then I will need to seriously work on scaling up to a level called Motherhood :) (obviously a lighter note)
Thursday, May 15, 2008
People, Power, Money - Warfeild & game of life
Technical Skills, Communication Skills, Business Skills, Negotiation Skills, so on and so forth, to add medals to the positivity a professional. But, there is yet one key skill that goes foremost from a small scale local business to billion dollars worldwide revenue makers. A skill that can take you to heights if used right or Keep me safe in a shell called current position, if not used at all. Some call it Influential Skills; Some call it Building Rapport; some call it Survival of Fittest; I refer the cold war as “Office Politics”. One may ignore it, react harshly back, observe passively or not be aware of anything at all, but “Organizational politics” is a grounded neo business Reality.
Jeffrey Pfeffer notes that Management is itself a political activity. Prof. Jean Hartley, Warwick Business School, 2006 says “For an organisation to achieve success in today’s complex environment, you cannot afford to turn a blind eye to the political dimension of your business or service”. Global managers found “navigating organisational politics” to be a key issue with 65% saying it was either difficult or very difficult.– Courtesy: web
Peeling off the first skin, I’m Encountered with the primary layer called “dirty Politics”. People here are seen as lower Cadre with strong technical skills. Not sure if for their lack of functional skills or gene stereotype, they opt to get to the top by glory-hogging their superiors, Gossiping, Back biting, deliberately lying and showing their own self as uniquely talented by putting down their co-peers. They praise to have their ideas accepted instead of others (trust me; these folks in real life are as weak as new born child for their base is just an empty ego). They are highly provocative and often personal.
“Others fall is their rise; they would sell their souls to get their prize: Dirty Politics”.
Dissecting further I’m thrilled with my new find called “competent Politics”. Tongue which is slow to talk (especially to commit a certain thing); eyes keen to observe (or scan the environment), after several keen observations a mind that forms unbiased perspective, judgements which are locked within the secret doors called Self, Customized behaviour to cater gauged mindsets so to give and get the best of what they want to make it to the top. People here are found in Middle and upper cadre, featured with strong Business Skills and powered with vigilant EGO. With leadership on his genes, he understands the rewards of win-win; by valuing his peers (at least pretending to) he prepares a regiment of faithful soldiers who can spine his battalion. He does not protrude his sting by striking his foe back immediately for it is short-lived (You beat me and give it back double-fold, as kiddie as it may sound). He is known as Positive leader with sky-scraping influential skills.
“He is determined of his Prize but is confidential and conscious in executing his strategy: Competent Politics”
Politically Competent people try to build positive relationships all around them (from low level office security/cleaner to high level bosses). Higher your reputation is, the more you are known for your influence. Organization politics is quiet time bound, today’s winner become tomorrow looser. But, one who is trusted and committed does better in the long run. With self-interest as the lowest priority (but yes as a priority), I’ve planned to focus more on what best I can give to integrate real value in others (both my boss – measured with revenue and peers – measured with genuine appreciation).
Play Politics the smart way; be known for your morals and ethics; influence your peers and see yourself mounted to heights.
Reminded of a Boost Energy Drink Ad tag "loosers will always have excuses and winner will always have the energy to beat them"
Live Consiously :)
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Tidbid Thoughts
Thought 1: The more Philosophical a mind can think, the less practical or logical it is likely to be.'Thought 1' re-phrased: Philosophy is temporary escape for the weak, who refuse to respond positively to an harsh reality.
A great philosopher is often quiet idiotic to further reason out or judge every said happening to be worthless. While the world is busy having fun and moving forward with economy, technology, inventions (etc..,), philosophers prefer keep their mind paralyzed by asking “why?” "how?" "what will be?"...Sounds more of irrational (rather stupid ) concept, that has ever been accepted by mankind as one of a significant branch of study.
Whew! What a Philosophical view about Philosophy :)
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Yesterday - Today's past & tomorrow’s memory
Dirt, pollution and dust loads over the crowded metro that is positioned beside the Bay of Bengal. Under the scorching heat of over 95 F the commuters drive between the first three gears, bearing in mind the swarming pedestrians, jammed traffic, racing cycles and rebellious auto-rickshaws. Fortunate was the black swift to find its free parking lot by the roadside huts in one such populated streets. Scorched by the sun it waits uncomplainingly, for it will soon meet the Bullet rider, the Leo, the prince of its possessor. 
“I’m caught in the traffic, will be there in 15 minutes” the sms delivers on her mobile, while she observes the poor from inside small sized car. The eye gazed around, but her brain traversed back to college days, where she first met this stranger in the Campus Cafeteria. The day when she was consciously aware of his fixed stare and how she pretended apathetic continuing to play engaged in the chat with her friends. When his eyes paused for break, she in silence would rope back, wanting to get a closer look of the square faced stranger. His height of about 5’7 made his fresh budding muscle packs and biceps magnetic; the skin looked dusky in the dark olive green round neck t-shirt and light blue jeans. “He looks so smart like a model” exclamied Adeline “who he? He’s been building a house in Mcfeilds for close to 6 years" (referring his arrears - the three year B,.Sc Course which he took close to about 6 years for him to complete) , mocked our jealous Senior. “And another thing, he is from Punjab!”, “Punjab?”, “yes, PUNJAB!”– My world paused. Smartness or attractiveness of a guy to me is first measured in how South Indianite he can be. He was the first guy who I was ever attracted to, He sparked the fire in me at his first sight, He introduced me to a body chemistry which was never felt before but all that was fading into the wind because he was from North.
“hey, see there, it’s Leo” (name withheld for personal reasons), Adeline shouted again after 2 weeks, from near the cycle parking lot opposite to ladies lounge. He was in the same olive green - blue attire, standing near the science tap point looking at Adeline - wondering how she knew his name. “He is from Punjab but he is a nadar” confessed our senior for reasons we do not know. A Confession that made me and Adeline celebrate. Celebration for Adeline was a nadar and to me I always liked to a part their community since childhood. Following was something that we both as friends did not initially team up for, Eye exchanges. He walked around with his bald friend, I walked around with Adeline wanting to get a look at this nadar stranger who made us feel jiggy. Looks grew to be eye exchanges. Eye exchanges grew to an acquaintance (after over 1 1/2 year – this year made me and Adeline close enough to be good friends). Thanks to Perl who bought him over to the proceeding Tamil session. Adeline sat next to me all excited; I sat in fear, completely aware of his stare and my rising hormone chemistry, that may end me up flirting. “I have one more hour to go, can I meet you after the classes” my words were uttered in a bitter sweet mood. “You have to make your choice, its class or me” the confident firm words responded in a flirty tone. I made my choice and we ended up in the College library.
Following day was a Saturday, a day were pupils were not supposed to be in college but I and Adeline rushed to meet our favorite nadar. He was waiting in the Zoology tank with a one Dairy Milk bar (little did he know that my friend would accompany my first date). Adeline sat next to him on the stone bench, I sat opposite playing with the match box of his Wills pack. “Don’t play with fire” came out the statement twice. A warning message about our flirting limits, set the players on the game field of courtship.
The campus welcomed our arrival, stones over-heard our long conversations, breeze witnessed our silence, trees observed our passion. Silence was becoming more of a language of love and warmth was breaking out the fence into our souls. There was a new reason to rejoice my femininity but I stayed mute, so to have relationship healthy and unlimited as special Friends. Course term was ended and I entered into the world of vocation, not forgetting the sweetest experience life has ever bestowed on me through this Leo. Every vacation (when his mood seasons, of course), we would meet up but now in outer world, not just inside campus, for we are working young adults now. As a call center employee, I have come across handsome smart men who I was attracted to and some who liked to tie a knot with me but none till this day have made to a level of warmth, romance and silence that i cherished with the Leo.
It was supposedly a game of Flirting but I truly appreciated his views, thoughts, aspirations, philosophy, mannerism, behavior and priorities. What really turned my romantic illusion into realistic love was his dad’s death. There lay his father Corpse before him and he in his toughest of times took heart to behave sane with solid morale, welcoming me and my now best friend Anita. Not wanting to break down he would blink several times, close his lips tight and take heart with a sigh - not one tear that fell but the heavy sorrowful heart trying it's best to be strong and see ahead, was evident. His mom captured our attention by just her motherly divine look (I love her to this day and wished I have one chance to sought her feet for blessings and kiss her over her forehead). My spirit died to be her daughter in law and my heart was craving to be my beloved’s wife. It was my First love. My first commitment. But little did I know I was going to invest all my emotions that would never be a relationship.
So, it was. Never a relationship. Intimate, personal, friendly, caring but never a relationship. No matter how hard I desired, it would never be a relationship. Soulful connection but never a relationship! Blissful memories but never a relationship. Not friends; Not lovers and definitely not in a relationship. It is best to let God do the talking when it comes to personal relationships and so it was.
Time has swift from 1999 to 2007 and this might be the last meeting or at least one of final meet-ups, I’ll have with him. He is 15 minutes late for the date and it would be another mall, theater or eat out, that will greet the couples in disguise. Strangers who will soon part and be good wishers for each other.
May 1st 2008: All that remains now is my good will, special liking, memories and prayers for him and his mother. Time has indeed moved slowly but we are in completely different roads, heading as God destined. In the next few months, I might married off to another stranger (who will ofcourse be well informed about this Leo) and it would be as nothing ever happened atall. "The Show must go on; so will it". This may be too personal to key down but in my view My Dream journal would not be complete if I did not mention this most significant episode in my life.
“I’m caught in the traffic, will be there in 15 minutes” the sms delivers on her mobile, while she observes the poor from inside small sized car. The eye gazed around, but her brain traversed back to college days, where she first met this stranger in the Campus Cafeteria. The day when she was consciously aware of his fixed stare and how she pretended apathetic continuing to play engaged in the chat with her friends. When his eyes paused for break, she in silence would rope back, wanting to get a closer look of the square faced stranger. His height of about 5’7 made his fresh budding muscle packs and biceps magnetic; the skin looked dusky in the dark olive green round neck t-shirt and light blue jeans. “He looks so smart like a model” exclamied Adeline “who he? He’s been building a house in Mcfeilds for close to 6 years" (referring his arrears - the three year B,.Sc Course which he took close to about 6 years for him to complete) , mocked our jealous Senior. “And another thing, he is from Punjab!”, “Punjab?”, “yes, PUNJAB!”– My world paused. Smartness or attractiveness of a guy to me is first measured in how South Indianite he can be. He was the first guy who I was ever attracted to, He sparked the fire in me at his first sight, He introduced me to a body chemistry which was never felt before but all that was fading into the wind because he was from North.
“hey, see there, it’s Leo” (name withheld for personal reasons), Adeline shouted again after 2 weeks, from near the cycle parking lot opposite to ladies lounge. He was in the same olive green - blue attire, standing near the science tap point looking at Adeline - wondering how she knew his name. “He is from Punjab but he is a nadar” confessed our senior for reasons we do not know. A Confession that made me and Adeline celebrate. Celebration for Adeline was a nadar and to me I always liked to a part their community since childhood. Following was something that we both as friends did not initially team up for, Eye exchanges. He walked around with his bald friend, I walked around with Adeline wanting to get a look at this nadar stranger who made us feel jiggy. Looks grew to be eye exchanges. Eye exchanges grew to an acquaintance (after over 1 1/2 year – this year made me and Adeline close enough to be good friends). Thanks to Perl who bought him over to the proceeding Tamil session. Adeline sat next to me all excited; I sat in fear, completely aware of his stare and my rising hormone chemistry, that may end me up flirting. “I have one more hour to go, can I meet you after the classes” my words were uttered in a bitter sweet mood. “You have to make your choice, its class or me” the confident firm words responded in a flirty tone. I made my choice and we ended up in the College library.
Following day was a Saturday, a day were pupils were not supposed to be in college but I and Adeline rushed to meet our favorite nadar. He was waiting in the Zoology tank with a one Dairy Milk bar (little did he know that my friend would accompany my first date). Adeline sat next to him on the stone bench, I sat opposite playing with the match box of his Wills pack. “Don’t play with fire” came out the statement twice. A warning message about our flirting limits, set the players on the game field of courtship.
The campus welcomed our arrival, stones over-heard our long conversations, breeze witnessed our silence, trees observed our passion. Silence was becoming more of a language of love and warmth was breaking out the fence into our souls. There was a new reason to rejoice my femininity but I stayed mute, so to have relationship healthy and unlimited as special Friends. Course term was ended and I entered into the world of vocation, not forgetting the sweetest experience life has ever bestowed on me through this Leo. Every vacation (when his mood seasons, of course), we would meet up but now in outer world, not just inside campus, for we are working young adults now. As a call center employee, I have come across handsome smart men who I was attracted to and some who liked to tie a knot with me but none till this day have made to a level of warmth, romance and silence that i cherished with the Leo.
It was supposedly a game of Flirting but I truly appreciated his views, thoughts, aspirations, philosophy, mannerism, behavior and priorities. What really turned my romantic illusion into realistic love was his dad’s death. There lay his father Corpse before him and he in his toughest of times took heart to behave sane with solid morale, welcoming me and my now best friend Anita. Not wanting to break down he would blink several times, close his lips tight and take heart with a sigh - not one tear that fell but the heavy sorrowful heart trying it's best to be strong and see ahead, was evident. His mom captured our attention by just her motherly divine look (I love her to this day and wished I have one chance to sought her feet for blessings and kiss her over her forehead). My spirit died to be her daughter in law and my heart was craving to be my beloved’s wife. It was my First love. My first commitment. But little did I know I was going to invest all my emotions that would never be a relationship.
So, it was. Never a relationship. Intimate, personal, friendly, caring but never a relationship. No matter how hard I desired, it would never be a relationship. Soulful connection but never a relationship! Blissful memories but never a relationship. Not friends; Not lovers and definitely not in a relationship. It is best to let God do the talking when it comes to personal relationships and so it was.
Time has swift from 1999 to 2007 and this might be the last meeting or at least one of final meet-ups, I’ll have with him. He is 15 minutes late for the date and it would be another mall, theater or eat out, that will greet the couples in disguise. Strangers who will soon part and be good wishers for each other.
May 1st 2008: All that remains now is my good will, special liking, memories and prayers for him and his mother. Time has indeed moved slowly but we are in completely different roads, heading as God destined. In the next few months, I might married off to another stranger (who will ofcourse be well informed about this Leo) and it would be as nothing ever happened atall. "The Show must go on; so will it". This may be too personal to key down but in my view My Dream journal would not be complete if I did not mention this most significant episode in my life.
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