Thursday, January 24, 2008

Ruling over Rules!

Unusual as it may seem, offlate my hands are trying to mix and match cosmetics in different expanse than to which it was produced for. Lip crayons/pencils now lines my eyes (which otherwise was just lined black), body tattoo crayons now enhance my liners with their glitters, wax lip sticks have replaced my shadows, bracelets now serve as anklets,….and the outcome? Uniquely splendid matching the different colors of my attire.

May be there is another aspect of viewing the scenario. Most often, we the people live by the rules of the given community. As if there was a traditionally unwritten “Life rule book” that describes the traits of a supposedly good human. In following them (in most cases “pretending to”) , they often fail to master the sprit behind which those rules where laid. Humiliation spills over when these rules are laid down in the name of God/religion so that it may be hurriedly accepted by the innocently pious lot.

We have a choice to be either good or bad. Not that I like inhabitants to be bad and then make a choice to be good. But when we explore the bad we gain real insights and power of being good. Experiencing good! Choosing to be good rather than Made to be good!. "part of growing up" so they call :)

“Everything is permissible for me; but nothing is beneficial”. All that matters is to please the unseen God, NOT the world we see. I pass through this earth once and I want to wholly experience every phase of the karmic wheel. Not live by the Rules but rule over those rules with manuscript called experience.

Happenings will continue to happen! Let the journey go on….

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Said the Forbidden word !!!!

As my fingers come in forceful contact with the different square-shaped keys of this leased Thinkpad, I feel my heart pumping all it’s blood into my veins. My pluses are raised and I’ve never felt this ashamed in all my life.

Today was yet another workday and habitually as it was, few of the staffs gather around our grayish cream cubicle that accommodated four talents. Practicing the passive Custom, we started from taking about the clients, placements only to steadily swing into the heart of matter - assumptions, concepts, practices and THE PEOPLE of the organization. ‘Who is not right’, ‘who is bad’, ‘who is a poor performer’, ‘who is who's’ all the negatively presumed personalities walk the ramp of our forum. While on the chat about poor performers one of my India office colleague typically takes the center stage, as if he were a synonym of slow moving, low-achiever. In my belief, a rider is not worthy of any praise if he’s on a vigorous swift horse. Tribute awaits the one who has taken the challenge of making weakest and slowest breed win its toughest race on the course. I throw this comment to the audience only to re-confirm their impression “I’m backing up people who are too immature and unfit for any organization”.

“This is ok’nga….. aanna But these people leave their house, stray like dogs and then one day when they feel like returning appram come back home and andha company too accepts them” a sudden voice with it’s poorly structured sentence, emerged from straight opposite my seat. This was to mockingly remind my employment history to other staffs. Supplementary Arrows are hit over my sincerity from my own team member who we had averted for “personally professional” reasons. His words accomplished its purpose thereby provoking my temper. I use the most forbidden four-letter word which for OSHO is the most important word in the English language.

I uttered it not to warn him, nor did I utter it to hurt him (though in the literal sense he waiting for an opportunity physically assault me), I did not utter the word make him scared, but I uttered it caused I lost my Cool. I uttered the forbidden word amidst a group of folks, who are now watching for the bulls to charge in full splendor against each other. I silently turn myself back to face my system and pretend working. This was verbal exchange that I did not anticipate, at least before eyes that were detecting for more. With a heavy heart I leave for my motel, feeling ashamed for having produced a fruit, which is not acceptable in my God’s sight.

Actions speak and mine just did! A forbidden word! A forbidden thing!

Sigh relief after praying for forgiveness. I proclaim to all the cells within me “I will constantly work towards being better than to my former self” (inspired from Robin S Sharma) and “I will not use that forbidden word again”. All in a day’s work and this was just a bad one. I wait for the sun to unveil herself tomorrow, for I have planned to request his pardon, before this same crowd that is hosting a farewell lunch for me. I know I would be attacked with an unpleasant response, but at least for the sake of my God and conscience, I will need to let myself be embarrassed again!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Worth index by their FaceValue ?

Ready
Take-1
Action: (tuuk)

And there one morning, when sun lifted its veil across the shores, I saw an angel walk over the brown carpet my mother nature had spread for her. Her face was innocent like a Dove; her eyes reflected a twinkling shine that would beat the stars. While her mind was occupied with what those two white wires produced in her ears, I felt the silent arrows of the cupid rip through me. I jog ahead of her and my breaks of intelligence fails. I give into my instincts and get a second closer look at this divine sign that now symbolizes an embodiment of love, peace and purity. By mere coincidence (which I don’t wish it to be), she saw me looking at her and there my world paused. I was thunderstruck.
Cut

This is an scène that every individual would have viewed a million times on reel and real life. Am not here to talk about love but what induces men to love?
Did I, as a kid hear of this Proverb “beauty is only skin deep”. Was this hypothetical liner or is it a theory that was tested in real-time world.

These are the days, where an average mediocre gal to fashionably trendy ladies to culturally modish madams exert most of their strength in making/keeping themselves beautiful. Fortunate are the business minds who just exactly know what a women want. Under Their International banner by offering assorted range of Chemical bleaches, facial masks, rainbow colored shadows/sticks/polishes, naturalistic Aloe Vera/cucumber/lemon, to the latest entrant Bare Mineral make up, they found a mine that will never run out of gold.

Coming back, all geared up ('Natural' in her statement though :)) our lady walks out and gets caught in eyes of one of the Martian. Now does this Martian look into her unfading beauty of Character, commitment and faithfulness or is he struck by her Innocent beauty, personality and affirmative posture? Traits like Character, commitment and faithfulness cannot be visible to naked eye. So in my dogmatic view, the above proverb is a hypothesis. Men conceive the idea of being struck by a cupid only by a Venusian’s face value. It is impossible for a modern day Martian to love someone who he does not psychologically perceive as beautiful.

In a given exception the proverb would be a factual. The body chemistry should be nurtured to the level friendship in the timeless space of time. In this way the initial magnetic attraction (that has a possibility of repelling) will grow strong roots of attachment which has the power to last even after death. As I always say, “love is never blind – Lust is” “love is pure. Love is serene. Love is everlasting”

Ready
Take-2
Action: (tuuk)

And they happily lived ever after
Cut
Lights off
Pack home :)

Monday, January 14, 2008

Creditable Voyage

In the darkness of the night while silence fills Homestead (my Motel), I slide the flower-designed curtains in my queen-sized single room to view this city to which soon I would soon bid adieu. Northwestern highway never seems be tried of letting those hi-tech Detroit cars pass on her skin all through the year. Never have I seen her resting and hardly would she have people walk on her, expect for foreigners like me who have no wagons during their short expedition. The sky is blank with no stars to decorate her and may be moon abandoned the sky in jealously of the city lights that was lit all through the night. The flurries (Snow) falls like the drizzle that when glanced from underneath the lamppost, it’s like showers of tiny white droplets of blessing poured on mother earth.

This was a trip I had been postponing from the year 2005 and May be I was destined to fly to this so-called “land of Opportunities” through This Employer Technosoft. While many people think they realize their dreams when making it to this land, I was filled with mixed feelers, of heavenly joy and doubt when I received my B1 Oct 18th 2007. Heavenly joy for God having a purpose in my trip, which I never wanted to make, and a doubt of how I would find his purpose and achieve it. I was scheduled to leave on 29th of the same month and while the days were nearing I waited clueless of the trip that looked only gloomy. Like a vagabond I aimlessly boarded the flight pondering on my disheartening past, laughing at the orphan plight to setoff in the path of fate/time (which to me is God's will) and praying for God to bless me with a better tomorrow. Cynical as it may sound but in return, I was to obey HIS will and let myself to be a medium to reflect HIS Love.

After two transits in Brussels and Newark I stepped on the land, which seemed like an urbane desert. Tall buildings, well planned roads, City lights, hottest Cars but no people around. Struck with disgust I continued doing what I did the best. Adapt to the environment and get used to the change. Days passed like every other working day and whenever job permitted me I was on a short vacation. From the underground metro trains of Penn station, NJ to metropolitan that accepted diverse people of dissimilar skin colors, from hi-fashioned people with not so happy faces to the couples who were drunk in love cuddling each other with their starry eyes, from the crowded Broadway Of NYC to the cruise ships that sail to liberty statue, from the terrains of Binghamton to the fall colors of MD, from the view of windy Chicago Land from 113th floor of Sears tower to looking at real mummies in the Field museum, I was offered more than best that any thirsty traveler with mediocre funds could have.

Here I’m back in the room that sheltered me for 3 months. In another four days I would be inside the automated bird that will fly me back to my homeland. I never wanted to come to US or ever wanted to become career oriented. Only wanted to be committed in love and have lifetime fun with the notion of "my guy". To live a life the way my biblical mothers Sarah and Ruth did. To get married, have two kids, to serve my husband, mother-in-law…. But life pushes us to take the road we least wish to take. I have neither have found out the HIS purpose or achieved HIS will in all these days. May be it that GOD wanted to give his child a break from the lonely life she had been leading. May be it that God wanted his child to learn that life doesn’t end when she doesn’t feel loved. May be God wanted his child to know that there are millions of Americans amid their luxuries spend their lifetime as a loner all depressed. May be God wanted his Child to feel that all she needs is HIS love and in HIS time he will give her a family that she had been longing for. May be till then she has to wait patiently on him and be persistent in hoping on HIS LOVE.
“Lord, I thank you for this journey that you have enabled your daughter to take. For you have always blessed me with the finest of fruits and filled me with your glorious presence all through. Though for now it seems like I have not found my soul’s content, I choose to wait for this period of grief to pass by. Soon in your appointed time I will see sunshine and there will me no more tear. Fill thy daughter with thy love, wisdom and grace for that is all that I will ever need. You are all that I need, God”

My post would not be complete if I did not mention about my friend whose silent presence filled my everyday with contentment. If it were not for that green dot on gchat, I don’t think I would have the ever initiated this optimistic perspective that I now have towards life.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Life Goes on

"Life is like a novel. It's filled with suspense. You have no idea what's going to happen until you turn the page. Every day is a different page and they can be full of surprise".
This oracle of Sidney Shelton provoked my thought process and there I was on my wings of imagination taking flight into the ocean of Philosophy. Thanks to my newly acquainted friend, who recently posted this over her blogspot.

Each day is a gift and thus so aptly called as the “Present”. The responsibility lies on us to unravel the miracles each day holds. Though in this pragmatic world where we are forced to follow a monotonous schedule, I believe we have a choice feed our souls with essence of our true being. I’ve always found enormous self-realization when being in complete commune with nature. While listening to the silent whispers of the each wave throwing itself on the shore only to die and be dissolved back again into the ocean. May be like these waves, we beings are destined to die and unite with the heavenly forces one day. But while we are still on this journey called life let’s make each day eventful. Lets make a difference in the lives of people around us. Bring a smile on a face of someone who is deprived of his basic needs. Quench our soul’s emptiness with the His Heavenly love.

Life to me is a journey and having traveled through its first twenty-five years, I’ve only realized that ‘it goes on’. Future is very uncertain and it’s never wise to change our present, mapping it to what we think would be our tomorrow. It is like boarding a ship, which has no anchor. If bad winds had to strike, we would be caught up right in the middle of the sea, not able to land on either sides of shore. When life throws a little unexpected curve, lets train our spirits to be resilient. The wise man builds his house on the rock called present, while a foolish man would build castles on virtually unrealistic future.

It’s so apt to end the post with her statement “I don't know what my future holds, but I know who holds my future...”